All Calm & Tranquil

One of my oldest dearest friends and BFAM (Brother from another Mother), Richard Mott, over in Cheshire, England, is a biochemist who has experience in the chemotherapy drugs realm. After my Betelgeuse post last month, he sent me an email offering to do some research on the two drugs that Dr. Haddad has suggested to treat the metastatic cancer in my liver. I thought that was pretty nifty; I have a friend who knows the serious stuff and can guide me in a good direction. Thanks, Rich!

Little did I know that the much-appreciated medicine expertise wouldn’t be the end of his assistance.

Today, Rich sent me this photo, with the above title as the subject line of the email.


All Calm and Tranquil

It’s perfect.

Thanks Rich, I’m taking this as a sign to NOT WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS. Everything is calm. Everything is tranquil. Everything is going to be OK!

I’ll have my third and final (for now) round of steroid injections and another esophageal dilation next Wednesday, as ever since my May 23rd steroids, my good old esophagus has had a sign on it saying “Closed for Renovations”. I’ve been surviving on popsicles for hydration, as NO liquid will enter without hacking half of it back up (and risking aspiration pneumonia, which I had last month, and is NO FUN).  Food has to be shoved in foie gras style, each bite shoveling the previous bite down until it eventually ends up in a part of my esophagus not affected by radiation, which is working properly and will muscle the food down to my stomach. The last bite is forced down with a sip of water which brings most of the chewed up bolus back up in a technicolor yawn display worthy of a bad hangover movie scene. I have to eat near a garbage can and with a box of tissues. I’m not going to gloss over it….this SUCKS. I can’t even swallow my own spit, what little of it I have.  I haven’t had a cup of hot coffee, a glass of water, or a glass of wine in over four weeks. I am grateful to still be able to eat at all, so I’m not going to whine any more than I already have here. Food still tastes good, even if it’s painful, exhausting, and frustrating to swallow.  Fingers crossed I only require one dilation, because my goal of having all of the procedures done in time to enjoy summer will be threatened if I have to go back for a second!

School’s out, the weather is very April-like, but the fam and I are having fun already!  I hope the summer treats you well! Enjoy sun, warm air, blue skies, and fun with friends and family!

Life is SCHWEET!

Big Love!
Love Big!



15 thoughts on “All Calm & Tranquil

  1. Let us all know how the dilation goes. Hoping you’ll be loving the summer with your kids. I love your energy.

    • Everything went well yesterday – my esophagus is now a whopping 1.2 cm! Hoping that once the swelling and pain abate, I will be swallowing happily again! Thanks Nóra! Miss you! XOXO

  2. Oh dear Emily, my heart goes out to you for facing such challenges with grace, optimism, and humor. You are a treasure!

    Sent from my iPhone


    • Thanks, Laura! I just watched the movie “Love, Gilda” today, and although I am certainly no Gilda Radner in my comedy, I did see a slight parallel in our attitudes toward cancer – making it less taboo to talk/laugh about, and realizing that we have to take each day as it comes, and enjoy life to the fullest! Miss you! XOXO

  3. Once again EM, you amaze us! I love the good things that come your way in the face of all the hard stuff!
    Of course, as part of your Tribe, we are sending prayers and good healing energy your way!
    Love, Jessica

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